forthelulz90

So, an annoying thing is happening to me. I've fallen for a good friend, but I can't tell him because he's still sort-of in a relationship (complicated and tenuous though it is). Naturally, I made a fanmix about it. It is a fairly upbeat/pop one, though: if I'm going to be so self-indulgent that I make a whole fraking fanmix for myself, I at least won't make it a sad, mopey one.

This is a very personal mix. I've known that I liked him as more than a friend for a few months now, but with all the time I've had to myself this Christmas break, it's getting harder not to think about him. But, I'm looking on the bright side: at least I have feelings for someone, as opposed to last year when I felt like a dead, loveless rock. And, for the first time, I think I have a shot: we're already really good friends, and I don't have high hopes for the survival of his current relationship (I know that sounds awful and selfish, but she hasn't even talked to him in months. At this point she's just a drain on his mental health). So yes, that is supposed to be me on the cover. The animal in the crook of my arm is Irwin, my stuffed bison. No, I don't sleep with an empty pillow next to me: it's a conceptual thing, donchaknow.

Now, as this is a personal mix, I just used songs I like--songs that were already in my library. I didn't go hunting for particularly obscure songs, so I understand if you don't wanna snag because you know/have most of the songs. Still, comments are nice, especially comments about the cover art; I put some effort into it. Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

( could it be you fell for me, or any possible similarity?Collapse )

I took my time with this mix -- I remember first flipping through my music library looking for songs way back last summer. Took my time with the cover art, too: I started drawing in pencil, but I got a tablet for Christmas, and figured this would be good practice (I still need some, but I think I'm getting the hang of it). Then I decided to mess with unusual color schemes, and... the whole thing just became a big experiment. But I had fun with it. I made it a goal to finish/post a mix before school started, and I've done it :)

You can download songs individually by clicking on the title, or go to the bottom to get the who kit 'n caboodle (.zip file with all mp3s). If something's not right, please tell me. Hope you enjoy!
( love's not a competition, but I'm winningCollapse )

Yes. It's that time again, my fluffy bunnies.

01. Comment to this entry saying 'ICONS!' and I will pick 6 of your icons.
02. Make an entry in your own journal and talk about the icons I picked!

It's John Motherfucking Hart, played by JAMES MOTHERFUCKING MARSTERS. How could I NOT have an icon of him? Especially one of him making a sexy faise? Torchwood ftw

Well, it's Eddie Izzard, and we all love him. But the word 'quoi?' is sort of an inside joke for me. A couple years ago, my friend and I were bored and decided to watch Harry Potter 3 dubbed in French, just for shits and giggles. At the bit when Hagrid puts Harry on Buckbeak's back, French!Harry goes "Quoi?" in the creepiest, most feminine voice possible, then screams 'EHH! EHH! EHH!" as Hagrid picks him up. We rewound it perhaps a dozen times, and laughed for a good five minutes straight. We might have just had too much sugar, though.

I wanted an 'I approve of this post' kind of icon, and I am in love with Jon Stewart. Seemed logical.

Because, every now and then, it's nice to remind myself that he's not my president anymore :) And the gif makes me giggle.

For the stupider posts on ONTD_P. I don't even remember what chapter the picture is from, I just liked Kagome's face.

This may very well be my favorite part on the pilot (except when Mal shoots Lawrence). My BFF Conor and I show Firefly to a lot of people who haven't seen it before, so I've seen the pilot MAAAAAAAAAANY times. It's always a struggle to keep myself from smiling when Mal tells Simon that Kaylee's dead XD

That's easy-peasy. I want to be a creator. And by that, I mean create TV shows, movies, and possibly a graphic novel or a regular novel or an internet series. I would say 'writer' or 'producer', but I haven't decided between them yet. I just want to see my name at the end of the credits. Created by. Almost every other dream I have for my future is based on that.

The prospect for fame and glory does enter into it a little bit :P

Well, lookie here! My very first famix! Well, my very first finished fanmix. I have a bunch more in the works. I meant to post this one before school started, but life happens and I'm lazy and it just didn't happen. And I worked extra hard on the cover art since this is my first mix. All songs are mp3. You can download individual songs by clicking on the title. The zip with all the songs (and the cover art) is at the bottom.

( cut'd to save my f-listCollapse )

(I wrote this last night. As I say below, my internet failed last night, and I couldn't post. Things have changed since my friend Lily showed up this morning, but I haven't edited this. These are my exact thoughts regarding my first day)

For the first time, I am writing an entry from my room at CSUMB.

I am at college.

I suppose this is the first day of the rest of my life or something like that. I don't know. I haven't had any life-changing epitomes yet, so I'm afraid this won't be a post imparting my new-found ultimate wisdom. I just wanted to catalog this day. For myself. I want to store my thoughts so that I can revisit them for the rest of my life, the way I did on my first day of sophomore year.

I want to remember the awkward, short and reassuring phone conversation I had with Lily, the girl I met in June at orientation. We didn't talk about anything important. I called her twice, and she didn't pick up. Ten minutes later she called back, telling me she'd been on the road and hadn't been able to answer. She didn't quite remember who I was (her roommate is also named Rachel). I wanted to ask if she'd go to the ice cream social with me and see the showing of Star Trek afterwords, but she's not here: she's staying in a hotel tonight and checking in tomorrow. I told her I was sorry for wasting her time on a useless call, that I had nothing to say, that I was just lonely. She told me that any time I felt lonely I could call her.

I'm going to complain about my laptop's location. There's no support for my elbows as I write, and I have to pause every few minutes to let them rest. I'm moving it right now.

I want to remember how cozy my first dorm looks. The walls are plain white and boring, but I have my FMA and Watchmen posters taped up, as well as some christmas lights strung up above my bed (the scotch tape is holding so far). I have designated the top shelf of my desk as my 'special things' shelf, and have my blue cork board and most of my stuffed animals arranged comfortably there. The bed spread is very color coordinated. I took two pictures of the room with my phone.

I should thank my mom be being so fantastically good at planning. Right now, I am snacking some frosted mini-wheats and drinking apple cider (my water heater works fine). I have almost everything I need, largely thanks to her. Only exceptions: a bathroom mat, an alarm clock, nail clippers, a swimming suit, and a cell phone charger. Not her fault at all; no one can think of everything.

I've decided that while having a single room is rather lonely, it's nice to be able to listen to SR-71 without my headphones (quietly, of course. It is 1:30 in the morning, and I don't want to be a dick).

I ought to write about the unsatisfying time I had at the ice cream social tonight. I hung out with a small group I met in the ice cream line: 4 girls, 2 boys. All of them older than me, mostly seniors (one an RA for the North quad). I inserted myself in their conversation as best I could. They knew a lot of people I don't. They didn't stay for the movie. I only remember one of their names: Nicky, the RA. After they left, I attached myself to a group of kind of nerdy sophomore girls, and sat with them for the movie. We didn't talk much, and they didn't say goodbye when the movie ended. I don't expect I'll see any of them again. The ice cream was good.

I'm going to say that I feel just a tiny bit nauseous.

I want to tell you how damn good the shower I just took felt. Just the right temperature. I feel fantastically clean.

I'm going to be thinking about the breakthrough I had in my story tonight. I fleshed out Arin's backstory, made it particularly tragic (note to self: his name is Anderson Sphincter).

I'll just quickly mention that Zachary Quinto is a fantastic Spock (and severely hawt). But, while the whole cast is awesome, I've decided that Bones is my favorite character.

I need to complain about the internet connection. It's supposed to be wireless, but it keeps timing out, even though it says I'm connected. I think maybe there's just too many people online now. There doesn't seem to be an ethernet plug in my room. I don't expect I'll be able to post this tonight because of connection fail. If that's how the connection in my room is always going to be like, I'm going to go nuts. Gorram it.

And Finally, I want to call attention to the title of this entry. Please don't think me depressed or discontented in any way. It's a quote from Neil Gaiman's novel American Gods, and, in context, is rather funny. And, in my case, ironic (hey, you're reading this aren't you?).

Another fanfic.
I wrote this after watching Kakashi Gaiden. It was kind of a speed write/stream of conscious thing... just a little niggling idea that had to be written. Unbeta'd, but I think it's pretty good. It made me sadfaise when I reread it, which is what I was going for, so... read.

Title: The Sun is Out
Characters: Kakashi, Rin, Minato, Obito (by mention)
Warnings: character death (obviously. it's post-gaiden) and people being sad all over the place.
Word Count: 1423

( Just faint line I'll trace to recreate a semblance of love, of some stabilityCollapse )

This is me speculating about Naruto's birth. Beta'd by the lovely :devlily-flare:. I finished this a loooooooong time ago, but I went back a very days ago and touched it up and I'm pretty damn happy with it.
Title: The Birth of Uzumaki Naruto
Characters: Minato, Kushina, a few random doctors
Warnings: character death, and people being sad all over the place.
Word Count: 2636
Notes: Some 'splain' to preface:
I think Kushina died in childbirth, otherwise I think she'd still be alive. I can't figure why she'd be dead otherwise... we know that Minato's sealing jutsu kills the sealer, but how would it kill her? The other scenario I can think of is Kyuubi was sealed in Naruto when she was still pregnant with him and birthing him killed her, but I like this idea less cuz it puts too much guilt on poor Naru for her death. Or maybe she's still alive. But that'd be rather dues ex machina.
I also think Minato and Kushina's relationship had to be kept secret for some reason, or else why wouldn't Naruto know who his parents are? We know Kushina wasn't originally from Konoha... maybe some diplomatic issues?
So yeah. Those're mah theories. Take em or leave em.



( walking up the hill tonight, and you have closed your eyesCollapse )

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